Posted on December 30, 2019
by Nicole V
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Every year my spiritual family chooses words that reflect things they’d like to study or overcome in the new year. In previous years my words have meant a great deal to my self study. Past words include: Maturity: Growing up in order to be… Continue Reading “The New Year: Never Abandoning Myself Again”
Category: Coming of Age, Forgiveness, Sobriety, VictimTags: 2019, 2020, abandonment, addict, Addiction, Amends, Anxiety, change, Child, christmas, Codependency, Codependent Relationships, Communication, Control, Death, drug addict, drug addiction, Eating Disorder, ed recovery, Evolution, Friendship, immaturity, impeccable, Intention, intentions, maturity, Motherhood, new year, Patterns, personal choice, Personal Journey, Photography, prisioner, Recovery, recovery birthday, red flags, Relationships, resentment, resolution, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, self study, Sobriety Birthday, spiritual, Spirituality, study, Trauma, victim, victimization, warrior, we do recover
Posted on October 17, 2019
by Nicole V
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Carolyn I made the decision to go back to school when my son was 4 months old. When I completed high school 16 years ago I went to the same school I am in now to try and do something with my life. My… Continue Reading “The End of Childhood”
Category: anger, Bulimia, Coming of Age, Drugs/Narcotics, entitlement, opiates, Prescription pills, SobrietyTags: 49ers, Addiction, Afterlife, Alcoholism, Anxiety, Binge Disorder, Bulimia, Bulimic, car accident, childhood, compassion, Control, darkness, Death, Depression, drug, drug addict, drug addiction, drugs, drunk driver, Eating Disorder, ed, ed recovery, end, ending, family, feeling, feelings, football, granddaughter, growing up, help, hospital, life changing moment, Marijuana, pain, Patterns, Personal Journey, Pot, rams, recover, Recovery, red flags, Relationships, sadness, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, Trauma, triggered
Posted on August 7, 2019
by Nicole V
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Last night I went to the Sonoma County Fair, in Northern California, and brought my camera to capture some sweet moments with my son and husband. I recently took a digital photography class over the summer and got a better understanding of the tools… Continue Reading “Family Fair Night at the Sonoma County Fair”
Category: adobe, Coming of Age, Motherhood In Recovery, photoshop, UncategorizedTags: addict, Addiction, Animals, blog, blogging, blogs, ca, california, california fair, clouds, colorful, corndog, corndogs, drug addict, drug addiction, fair, fair food, fair lights, fair ride, fair rides, family, family fun, flickr, floral, flowers, hall of flowers, lights, love, Motherhood, Personal Journey, photo editing, Photo Restoration, Photography, photos, recover, Recovery, rides, santa rosa, Self Care, Self Love, sky, sonoma, Sonoma County, Sonoma County fair, swings, tractor, we do recover, writer, writing
Posted on July 28, 2019
by Nicole V
3 Comments
The Two Selves: My Work This post is dedicated to helping me work through an understanding I have been studying. I have a long and arduous relationship to other people’s depression and if I don’t go towards it to understand it then there will… Continue Reading “Death in Recovery Part 3: Other’s Depression”
Category: anger, Bulimia, Coming of Age, Drugs/Narcotics, entitlement, Forgiveness, Nowhere Man, opiates, Prescription pills, Treatment, VictimTags: aa, accountable, Addiction, Afterlife, Anxiety, Binge Disorder, ca, california, care, character defects, Child, clean, clean and sober, Codependency, Codependent Relationships, Control, Death, Depression, Eating Disorder, Evolution, false self, family, feeling, feelings, Food disorder, Friendship, Guilt, heart, honesty, lonely, lonesome, love, Marijuana, mind, na, odaat, Patterns, personal choice, Personal Journey, Photo Restoration, Photography, recover, Recovery, red flags, Relationships, resentment, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, Shame, soberaf, sobriety, Sonoma County, Trauma, treatment, truth, victim, we do recover
Posted on July 3, 2019
by Nicole V
1 Comment
My Problem With Pot After the passing of my friend’s mother I had a period of mourning for her. A dull ache that I had one less person on the same team as me. That pang of disappointment visits me when I think of… Continue Reading “Death in Recovery Part 2: Pot, Dogs, & Friendship”
Category: 12 Steps, Bulimia, Coming of Age, Drugs/Narcotics, Forgiveness, opiates, Prescription pills, Sobriety, TreatmentTags: 420, 9th step, aa, addict, Addiction, Alcoholism, Amends, Animals, Anxiety, california, Child, Codependent Relationships, Control, Death, Depression, drug addict, drug addiction, Eating Disorder, Evolution, Friendship, Guilt, MA, Marijuana, na, odaat, Patterns, personal choice, Personal Journey, pets, Pot, recover, Recovery, recovery birthday, Relationships, santa rosa, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, Shame, soberaf, sobriety, Sobriety Birthday, Sonoma County, survival, treatment, we do recover
Posted on May 16, 2019
by Nicole V
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My first clean and sober relationship A few years ago I got a call from my buddy in recovery, Aaron, asking if I had seen our mutual friend, we’ll call him Andy. Andy and I dated for 7 months when I first got into… Continue Reading “The 12th Step Call: Finding the Light When Darkness Surrounds You”
Category: 12 Steps, Coming of Age, Drugs/Narcotics, Motherhood In Recovery, SLE, Sobriety, TreatmentTags: 12 steps, 12steps, 12th step, aa, addict, Addiction, Alcoholism, california, care, choice, choosing, Codependent Relationships, Death, Depression, drug, drug addict, drug addiction, drugs, Evolution, first love, Friendship, gratitude, help, IV drugs, love, motel, Motherhood, na, odaat, personal choice, Personal Journey, reaching out, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, soberaf, sobriety, Sobriety Birthday, Sonoma County, Suicide, suicude, super 8, super8, we do recover
Posted on April 29, 2019
by Nicole V
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Over Easter weekend I photographed my family and our kids spending time together. My grandmother treated us all to a 4 night stay in Bodega Bay, California. We rented a beach house next to a golf course and every person who attended brought a… Continue Reading “Celebrating Family: A photoshoot”
Category: adobe, Bulimia, Coming of Age, Forgiveness, opiates, photoshop, SobrietyTags: 10 years, addict, Addiction, Afterlife, alcohol, Alcoholism, bay, beach, beach house, Bodega Bay, Bulimia, canon, canon rebel, clean and sober, coast, coastal, Control, Death, drug, drug addict, drug addiction, drugs, easter, Eating Disorder, editing, Evolution, family, Food disorder, Friendship, love, memories, Motherhood, ocean, Personal Journey, Photo Restoration, Photography, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Self Love, sobriety, Sonoma Coastline, Sonoma County, we do recover
Posted on March 22, 2019
by Nicole V
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If you are an addict struggling with imagining what it would take to get clean, you’ve probably heard people talking about hitting rock bottom. I wanted to share with you the day that I consider to be my rock bottom because it was the… Continue Reading “10 Years Ago: This ‘ol Opiate Addict’s Rock Bottom”
Category: 12 Steps, Bulimia, Coming of Age, cs5711, Drugs/Narcotics, Forgiveness, opiates, Sobriety, TreatmentTags: 10 years, 12 steps, 4th step, Addiction, alcohol, Alcoholism, clean and sober, Codependency, Codependent Relationships, Depression, drug addict, drug addiction, Eating Disorder, fear, IV drugs, Personal Journey, Recovery, Relationships, resentment, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, soberaf, sobriety, Sobriety Birthday, Suicide, treatment
Posted on March 16, 2019
by Nicole V
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The Illness From Hell Over this last week my son somehow contracted a fun little stomach bug resembling the Norovirus. Around 8pm, an hour after his bedtime, I heard his violently coughing and that unmistakable sound of his projectile vomiting all over himself and… Continue Reading “The Adventure: Who is in Control?”
Category: Bulimia, Coming of Age, cs5711, VictimTags: Acting Out, Addiction, Anxiety, Bulimia, Child, Control, Eating Disorder, Food disorder, Guilt, Patterns, Personal Journey, Recovery, Self Care, Self Harm, Self Love, Shame, The Victim
Posted on March 2, 2019
by Nicole V
2 Comments
What follows is the very beginnings of my addiction and how I co-created some of my codependent relationships. You may be on this blog looking for support with a loved one and wondering why seemingly normal people act out in obsessive and manipulative behaviors… Continue Reading “Codependent Relationships and Addiction”
Category: Coming of Age, Drugs/Narcotics, opiates, TreatmentTags: 12 steps, addict, Addiction, Anxiety, Bulimic, Codependency, Codependent Relationships, Depression, drug addict, drug addiction, first love, high school, Personal Journey, Recovery, Relationships, Self Harm, sobriety, we do recover
